Gameday: Evanston, Illinois

Tigers vs. Buffalo Bulls
September 20, 2008

Tiger AP ranking: 5th


Today the Chicago Cubs clinched the National League’s Central Division, once again providing hope for their long-suffering fans.

It seems appropriate to look back and examine how the once-powerful Missouri Tigers became their doppelganger in defeat, before, like the Cubs, reclaiming a winning attitude.

For decades, the Mizzou football program elicited respect. They led the nation in rushing using Don Faurot's innovative T-formation. The Tigers were the only major college program to lose no more than 3 games a season during the 1960s. In the 1970s Mizzou gave oddsmakers fits, upsetting favorites Alabama, USC, Ohio State and Notre Dame—all on the road. In 1981, they celebrated their fourth consecutive bowl appearance by beating Southern Mississippi in the Tangerine.

Then came September 14, 1985.

On that day, I walked out of Wrigley Field after a Cubs-Cardinals game and crossed Sheffield Avenue to the popular bar Murphy’s Bleachers. The bar's doorman was engaged in an animated conversation with another patron. As my friends and I passed, he blurted out, “Did you hear? Northwestern beat Mizzou!”

The news hit my stomach like a tainted hot dog. In the early 80s, Northwestern didn’t beat anybody. A few years earlier the Wildcats had set a modern NCAA record by losing 34 consecutive games (when they broke the mark, NU fans stormed the field and tore down the goalposts, chanting, “we’re the worst!”) Northwestern students were admitted to games free in a desperate attempt to fill the stands. Many decided against the gratis admission, spending entire games tailgating rather than submitting to watch another crushing loss. As game after lopsided game slipped away, the students who did attend would regale opposing fans with the cheer,
“That’s alright, that’s OK, you’re gonna work for us someday!”

Losing to Northwestern in 1985 meant that your team was terrible.

Woody Widenhofer was the new Tiger head coach that year. Widenhofer maintained that if the Tigers wanted to beat Nebraska and Oklahoma--and we did--he was the man for the job. It was hard to doubt a Missouri alum who owned 4 Super Bowl rings from his tenure as defensive coordinator of the Pittsburgh Steelers. He urged Tiger fans to “get on Woody’s wagon.” After a single losing season that resulted in the dismissal of his predecessor, fans were anxious to give the dorky slogan a try. This despite the fact that Woody looked like Chumley the Walrus from Tennessee Tuxedo.

The Tigers went 1-10 in 1985. Widenhofer, amidst rumors that he had no interest in getting on any wagon, lasted four years, ignoring the entire time another slogan, the one where Missourians say “You have to show me.”

By the time Widenhofer waddled off, the football program stood in shambles. Mizzou and their fans suffered through 13 straight losing seasons—hundreds of thousands of students entered school as freshmen and graduated without ever cheering on a winning team. Many of the loses came in such an excruciating manner that they were given names. The "Norman Conquest," a 77-0 loss to Oklahoma. The “Fifth Down Game” against Colorado. The “Flea-Kicker” defeat to Nebraska. The Tigers lost blowouts, they lost heartbreakers, but mainly, they just lost. Because of the high-profile or bizarre nature of some of the defeats, they began to resemble the hapless Chicago Cubs. Once a force on the national stage, the Tigers became a question mark as sports pundits wondered aloud, “Can any coach win at Missouri?” And the death spiral began with that loss to Northwestern.

How does a team lose the stigma of “Cubness”? Or worse, the college football equivalent of the Cubs' “Billy Goat” curse? One could argue that the Tigers’ demolition of Arkansas in last years’ Cotton Bowl eradicated it. But just to be absolutely, Jeff Wolfert extra-point certain, I decided to visit Ryan Field, home to the Northwestern Wildcats. While watching the team that jump-started Missouri's downfall, I would look into my heart and forgive Woody Widenhofer, the Warren Harding of head football coaches.

I gave my Mizzou-Buffalo tickets to my classmate Fly, who has to my knowledge never screamed in his life but assured me he would, at the top of his lungs, this game. After two straight weeks of crushing lesser non-conference opponents, there was no reason to believe that we wouldn’t roll over this last one before we opened the Big XII schedule two weeks hence.

The Tiger game, inexplicably, wouldn’t be carried anywhere on TV. While I admit that Mizzou didn’t exactly schedule the New England Patriots, the Tigers are the number 5 team in the country and TV should be a given. The Auburn-LSU game scheduled that evening would be aired nationally, and no one in the Midwest gave a monkey’s spank. College football, like identity politics, is personal.

Northwestern's opponent was the 0-3 Ohio Bobcats. If this game was on TV while Mizzou was not, I’d be furious--so I didn’t check. The Wildcats could move to 4-0 with a win, just as Mizzou was in a position to do. WHY AM I WATCHING NORTHWESTERN? I SHOULD BE IN COLUMBIA WATCHING THE TEAM I CARE ABOUT! DEEPLY! WHAT IN GOD’S NAME HAVE I WROUGHT, AND WHY AM I USING THE WORD “WROUGHT”?

A few deep breaths from the diaphragm later, I sat in my purple padded seat cushion. NU’s defense looked solid, as one would expect from head coach Pat Fitzgerald, a two-time Big XII defensive player of the year. With a 9-0 lead, the ’Cats finally crossed the goal-line late in second quarter, heading to the locker room with a 16-0 lead.

At halftime, I walked with my friend The Dude to “Touchdown Terrace,” an elevated area at Ryan Field overlooking the north end zone where families can take their kids to hit each other in the head with nerf footballs and their out-of-shape dads can strike Heisman poses. I leaned over the railing, watching the Wildcats stream out of the locker room and begin warming up for the second half. The weather was as perfect as it had been crappy last week. With the warm early autumnal scene before me, I gazed the length of the perfectly-manicured field, took a deep breath, closed my eyes—and forgave Woody Widenhofer. Somewhere, managing a Long John Silver's into bankrupcy, he sensed my selfless gift.

For a nominal fee, the Tiger Sports Report will text you the score at the end of each quarter of Mizzou games. Normally this is a worthless service, as you’re already watching the game and the phone vibrating in your shorts detracts from the viewing experience. The situation this day would make my subscription worth it.

The Mizzou contest kicked off at 1:00 p.m. – two hours after Northwestern started. At 1:47 p.m., I received this:

Quarter 1 ended. Tigers lead by 3. MISSOU (sic): 10 BUFF: 7

“MISSOU”? Was I getting updates from a temp in India? More alarming was the slow start, considering the pinball numbers the Tigers had put up thus far this season. I began ignoring the game in front of me and, since there wouldn’t be another update for a full quarter, pumping friends for a more information. Tim “Buddy” May texted, “Bad game. We only lead 17-14 and just fumbled.” “News” Hughes told me that we our receivers couldn’t hold onto the ball.

Quarter 2 ended. Tigers lead by 6. MISSOU 20 BUFF: 14.

The head coach of Buffalo is Turner Gill, a former Nebraska quarterback who’s nothing if not familiar with beating the pants off the Missouri Tigers. I texted “WTF?” to three different people I knew were listening to the game. Two of them texted back that despite the tighter-than-desired score, Chase Daniel was delivering one of his best performances ever.

After allowing the Buffs to hang around at 27-21 in the 3rd quarter, the Tigers began to pull away. Daniel finished 36-for-43 passing, at one point completing a conference record 20 in a row.

Relaxing in Tommy Nevin’s pub after a 16-8 Northwestern win, the details of the dog's breakfast of a Mizzou victory began to dribble in. The Tigers had fumbled three times in Buffalo territory. Their special teams allowed a 97-yard kickoff return. A roughing the kicker penalty extended a Buffalo drive—a drive that culminated in another breakdown in the Tiger secondary on a 32-yard TD pass. Dropped passes held Daniel’s completion percentage to an embarrassing 83.7%

I ordered a pint of Harp. In 1985, there were no bars here in Evanston, Illinois. Home of the Women’s Christian Temperance Movement, the town was dryer than a seminar about caulking. In the 80’s, the city council would have rather donated their kidneys than hand out a liquor license (the closest bars were the seedy P.M. Lounge and Tally-Ho Pub on Howard Street, the dividing line between Evanston and Chicago). Slowly, the devil’s lure of liquor tax revenue changed all that. Tommy Nevin’s massive Irish bar opened in 1990, paving the way for other public houses. With no reason left for Evanstonians to make the trek, the bars on Howard Street became more derelict than ever.

On one of the several flat screens not featuring Missouri Tiger highlights, the Cubs got the final out against the Cardinals and began celebrating their second-straight post-season appearance.

Times had changed for the better since 1985. For Evanston, the Cubs, and the Missouri Tigers.